My sleep deprived ramblings

3:00 AM.

I love how light can change things. The passage looks safe tonight, while the toilet looks meanacing. Ha! Usually it's the other way around. I normally feel like someone is going to spear tackle me when I pass through the passage. Or just torture me, murder me, something. Isn't it funny how that never happens? How weird tonight, that my safe spot was not my destination, but my journey.

I love how everything's dead quiet. There are four walls around me that at the moment, are my strength. There is a pile of books not 10 feet from me. I have fresh, clean water to drink.

I love how I have the freedom to get wrapped up and leave the house. Go for a nightwalk. Watch the stars. Clear my head. Wash myself with a soothing moonlight.

I hate how my stomach's rumbling! How the hell can one person be SO hungry in the early morning?! I'm craving a banana, but there's a voice in my head reminding me there's none left. Fruit me, please somebody! Put me out of my misery.

I hate how my two money tins are only half full. I'm going to need many more and I have HALF. Only HALF. Sweeeeet Jessus I need a job. It's pathetic trying to save money otherwise.

I hate that I haven't done anything about the 'Young Writers Award' competition. The sheet is peeking out at me from across the room. Beckoning me. Teasing me. You know what? I will do it on Saturday, when I am relaxed, free. I already have notes all lined up and eagerly written down. Sweeeet!


I love that I don't have answers to all my problems.